I’ve been dealing with depression most of my life, and coming back from vacations has been a critical trigger that was becoming dangerous to me.
Here are some of the things that really helped me.
I’m writing this after a visit to WDW (Poly+AKL) which I’ve been waiting for for over a year and honestly I’m feeling really happy and recharged. It’s been years to get here.
1. If you consider %... - you spend very little of your life on vacation.
One way to prolong the feeling of being on vacation is:
1.1 Learn to enjoy the planning part just as much as being there.
1.2 Enjoy post-vacation. I’ll elaborate.
When you do this, the vacation itself is re-framed as a small part of the enjoyment, and you are mentally prepared to it going by so fast, and you’re not worried about it, since it’s such a small part of the fun.
Luckily, Disney gives us dads tons to plan and you can spend months doing it.
2. Start planning the next vacation BEFORE going on the upcoming one.
DW and I spend so much time discussing future vacays while at WDW!
Ex: we stayed at Contemporary last year, and took a few hours to walk around Polynesian and fantasizing about staying there.
This year we stayed at Poly, and walked around Grand Floridian - now when we talk about going there one day we have a better image in our heads of what it’s gonna be like.
3. Post vacay: pics & “happy file”.
I read a tip in a book - keep a “happy file” on your phone- just things that make u happy, to look at when you’re down.
My happy file is mostly pics from Disney vacays.
3.1 PICS ARE NOT JUST PICS.
People judge me for taking so many pictures and “not being in the moment”. That is soooo wrong.
Here’s the thing: the “moment” goes by so fast. In terms of value - a memory is waaaaay more valuable than a moment.
But the human memory SUCKS. So many details are lost or mushed together. More on this in a bit.
I take pics all the time. Nowadays with our phones it’s not like having to take a camera out and not being in the moment - so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.
Sometimes I don’t even look at the screen, I just snap away while my focus is on my family.
3.2 Take pics like a “happiness pro”.
I don’t wait for picture perfect moments. I shoot everything.
The best memories from my Disney vacays are not necessarily things like rides etc.
The thing I remember the most from this last vacation is my 2yo son enjoying pressing the buttons in elevators, getting the floor numbers right for the first time.
This is something that’s easy to forget in a few months and I’m happy I have it on video.
3.3 using the pics:
Heading back used to be depressing for us - a long flight with kids just to get back to our “normal” lives.
Instead on the plane back we relive the vacation from day one on our iPad. From the funny thing the baby did when we left the house through “oh remember how [Kid1] made the flight attendant laugh before take off???” To the actual meeting Nicky and riding dumbo stuff.
Year-round DW have Vacation pics date nights” where we sit in bed to review pics from vacations and re-live not only the obvious memories - but also trivial ones that are key points in our lives.
We recently looked at
Disneyland Paris pics and got to relive our baby’s first crawl - I didn’t even remember it happened there!
This process also reminds us of the mistakes we made and helps us plan better. I.e. “oh remember that horrible airplane? We’re never flying ___ again!”
4. Putting it all together: THE VACATION LOOP.
- Make planning the central part OF your vacation, make it a hobby
- the vacations & pictures become just suppliers of materials for your new hobby
- plan more than one vacation at a time: the next one, and a fantasy one for “sometime in the future”.
You will find that this turns your life into one big vacation, and the vacations will become a part of any important decision, conversation, etc. bringing that vacation/freedom/carefree feeling back into your life like a fresh breeze on a weekly basis.
Note: like most things in life (diet, career, health) - this is a process, a lifestyle choice. Not a quick fix.
Note2: if you feel that post-vacation depression is preventing you from functioning normal - it might be a warning sign of a bigger problem (it was in my case) and it couldn’t hurt talking to a professional.